“Listen to many, speak to a few.”

Precision

2012-02-10T02:53:00.002+08:00

Don't judge when you know nothing about the person. Don't presume you know me. Until the day you put yourself in other's shoes, understand their story, feel their pain, stop being so superficial. Everyone is different. & so are their lives. I'm turning 20. I'm growing up, I'm seeing the ugly side of how people can be like. How people can change into. So distorted. So cruel. I realize that I was a better judge of friends and people around me when I was younger. & so much happier. Nonetheless, fingers burnt, lessons learnt.

limit

2012-02-10T01:13:00.003+08:00

Actually I couldn't care less but it really riles me up about how childish some guys can be.

Take your secondary school mindset and games elsewhere because I think you guys are just fucking sick. I DON'T LIKE YOU. NEVER WILL. Don't try to flirt around, fail & try to boost your self esteem by telling others bullshit & act all gummy with me while telling your other friends that I'm such a player. PRIEST lor. Enough of your bull shit and enough of all these drama. I am nipping this in the bud. Just get over yourselves. You're not irresistible & your ego deserves to get bruised every once in a while for being such a douche bag. Going to cease partying. I'm dead tired from meeting hypocrites and fucked up people. Go fuck yourselves. Sick of all your nonsense. All these belonged to 2011 & I refuse to let it seep over to 2012 and spoil my year. So, go, shoo.

diverged

2012-02-08T23:43:00.003+08:00

Today has just been weird. I can barely even describe how I'm feeling. Just felt like I was living on a temporary high of some form of borrowed happiness. My head is swimming with thoughts. Too many. Too negative. So meaningless.

Sun rise

2012-02-07T07:20:00.001+08:00

This morning I watched the sunrise for the first time in many years. It was so amazing, so beautiful.
& I realized the only factor lacking of a perfect moment, was you.

remnants

2012-02-07T06:41:00.005+08:00

If you're my friends, you would understand. you would support and you would always be there for me, no matter what choices i make and no matter what mistakes I've committed. If you can't do that, I'm sorry to say that I have to let you go. Because we live once only, & I'm going to live it making my own choices, and not by yours.

Even if i get hurt once more, I won't regret it because I didn't live by " what ifs" and I made my own decision. If you were a friend, you would be there for me when that happens & not tell me " i told you so"or ditch me halfway because I didn't follow through with what you said.

This post isn't for anyone in particular, but to all my friends. I wish I could make everyone happy, but I can't please everyone but leave myself unhappy. I know you guys care a lot, but I need space to make decisions, to make mistakes & to learn from them. And I need to know that as friends you will be there throughout not only through happy times but through bad times as well. Through thick & thin and not bolting when I need your support most. I'm sorry. But I'm tired from hearing so much negative stuff. He did hurt me once, but everyone deserves a second chance, and I'm not about to waste my time giving a half-hearted one.

I'm sorry, but I hope you all understand where I'm coming from. From here on, I'm standing my ground.

sometime back

2012-02-07T05:00:00.004+08:00

Mel & I helping Bryan out with his photoshoot thingy @ the botanical gardens.

Got to say I was pretty tanned & sun burnt after that day T_T so sacrificial of me hahaha

nonetheless, it was pretty fun & who knew, me & Bryan's group mates had a common person we ALL disliked LOL.

Prolly the most makeup I would ever put on my face EVER. Don't like thick falsies cuz I can barely see clearly ( i have small eyes, yes.) -___-

monotony

2012-02-06T22:14:00.002+08:00

I am so bored. & so is my gigantic angry bird and gingerbread man.

Finally got down to completing most of my FYP work today. On a separate note, I realized that my sleeping hours are incorrigible and super messed up. Going to try to sleep early tonight ( if possible). A mere 3 more weeks & my polytechnic life would be over. On retrospect, guess I'll miss all my friends and the times I spent with them there. Probably the best times I ever had at any educational institution.

After this, I'll be heading Australia in July for my further studies. Going to be leaving more people behind and all. Decisions that come with age. Growing older. Experiencing a totally different and stranger lifestyle in a foreign land. Everything that I've been working for, for these few years will hopefully pay off in the near future. For now, that's all I have in plan and nothing else. I can only pray that through the distance and miles put between us, you will stay and wait. And that the day I walk through those glass doors, the first person I see, will be you. & that's all that matters.

Sundays

2012-02-05T18:32:00.003+08:00

Happy 21st birthday Melly!! Love you always <3333

my super awesome CG ! mad love

"the best people one can meet." This goes without doubt to E494 for everything you've done and given me.

Flushed

2012-02-03T18:59:00.001+08:00

Hi there, I'm so bored & yet so busy at the same time. I wish time could pass faster so that i can see you once again. Some days I have the weirdest dreams of things that happened in the past & then I wake up confused momentarily before I completely forget what's left of the vague memory of my dream. I've been planning this thing for weeks & i hope it all goes well when it comes down to the day itself. Fingers crossed!

Day by day, I wake up at obscene hours like 4 in the afternoon so that I could miss you less. I simply dislike the feeling of counting down the days to see you. How monotonous.

123 days

2012-01-30T22:10:00.003+08:00

That's how long we've been together & how much we've been through together.

Happy 4th Month sweetheart <3

counting stars

2012-01-30T21:18:00.004+08:00

Never before have I ever felt this. The immense anticipation that builds up throughout the entire day, just waiting for a single phone call. Every moment seems so precious now; I know not how to make of it.

lull

2012-01-26T16:32:00.002+08:00

if only you could turn back time, what would you have done different?

yup

2012-01-23T02:45:00.003+08:00

Liar liar pants on fire.

trust no one but yourself. cynical? yeah, all from personal experience.

2nd chances are total bullshit. no ones going to be appreciative. They just take it as an opportunity to fuck you up all over again. This is the last straw for me. I'm done trusting & caring for the wrong people from now on. You think it's fun being me? Letting you bring my hopes up again and then for you to trample all over them? & then after that, it becomes my fault for being unreasonable? You think I'm having so much fun finding out? You think it doesn't hurt? I'm not happy. Not one bit. & I'm tired from all these deception. I wasn't even worth your courage and morals to tell me the truth. I'm exhausted from trying so hard. I don't know what to do anymore. I need a break.

Gastronomy

2012-01-13T02:33:00.003+08:00

So one day I had cravings for all-day breakfast & instantly,

Hatched came to mind and we decided to give it a shot to see if it's really that good.

actually... it wasn't that impromptu hehe. We ended up making our way to Hatched only the next day :/

The menu for Hatched is superrrrrrrrrrrr cute!!!!!

The cozy little bar

Exhausted -___- no idea why even though it was prolly around 3pm in the afternoon. Maybe it's because I'm aging ):

Food has arrived! We ordered some buddy/couple meal set that looks like this:

& some super yummy eggy thingy that has bacon, cheese and mushrooms in it! MAD LOVE THAT DISH. IT TASTES REALLY GOOD. SERIOUSLY.

& the disappointing waffles. we both had one bite and thought it was kinda meh so we left the rest untouched.

Will go back there again some time soon even though it's kinda inaccessible unless you drive or cab (CAB FARES T_T)

Finally some alone time to properly update my blog! Had a blast with Rachel dear today. So excited for our sleepover next Thurs <3

Sobreity

2012-01-13T01:16:00.004+08:00

Can't wait for tomorrow.

The slight anticipation of doing something ever so rash, reckless, impromptu; I don't know what to make of it. I want so badly to share it with everyone, but nothing comes without repercussions. If I post it up, people are going to talk & yap again. Not that I mind, but I want to keep things the way it is now.

I'm still hesitant. Confused. The things people can say to you in the fit of anger; as if they have no qualms of the degree of hurt it may cause you. Now it prolly doesn't matter as much anymore. The only feeling left is a vague numbness & the aftermath of a wee bit of stinging. Then it all just fades. Nothing left to lament about.

That night. I lay in bed awake. Thinking. For the first time ever, my mind emptied itself of all thoughts. Blank.

Comprehend

2012-01-12T04:17:00.001+08:00

Did this at 4am in the morning. Gonna start redecorating my bedroom already since almost all the renovations are done hehe <3

Mini Outing!

2012-01-08T06:29:00.002+08:00

Another back post from Christmas 2011 !

Had a mini outing with Cassy and Gladys around Bugis. Walked around and ate quite a fair bit of food that day. I can sense my spare tyres increasing around my thighs and waist ):):

me & Gladys !!

& then Cassy, the best girlfriend God gave to me in 2011 (:

went to eat some fish noodle across Bugis Junction, then followed by Mos burger.

Both of them can really eat a lot O_O

"Food Goddess" is happy !

Walked and shopped around for a bit before we headed to Intercontinental Hotel to stroll around, admiring all the pretty Xmas decorations.

Gorgeous Christmas Tree decked in pretty ornaments and sparkly lights!

Very awesome to camwhore with .

I'm super exhausted. Just came back from impromptu partying.. Sent 2 drunkards home before sending myself home -____-

Today defined the terms "Drink.Drunk.Drama." for me. So much happened in just one night under the influence of alcohol. Hope you all are okay :/

Goodnight all. It's almost 7am and I'm still up blogging..

Goodnight Goodmorning, take your pick. I'm headed to sleep.... zzzzz

2012

2012-01-01T19:14:00.001+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR !!! <333
I had an insanely awesome new year celebration~~ hope yours rocked socks too!!

last day of 2011

2011-12-31T05:12:00.005+08:00

Goodnight world. Am tired of all the endless partying.

Sometimes I just wanna take a break, kick back and watch the world pass me by.

Admittedly, 2011 has been the most dramatic year ever, as of my 19 years of existence. Never had I experienced so much tribulations and dramas. But thinking back, if I could go through it all again, I probably would. It is only through tough times that you realize Man can fail you, but God never will. True to His plans, I think 2011 probably ended on a more mature note. Everything that we've been through this year can only shape and mould us more, spiritually and of course, morally.

Human speech. The deceitful, hurtful, spiteful, distasteful & sinful words that leave our very mouths, sharpened by time & used as a tool, or rather a weapon to destroy others and hurt others. We can't control what comes out of other's mouths, but we have complete control over our own. This year, I've said many things that never should have left my mouth. As well as others did to me, but worse. But it doesn't matter. No one can stop others from sinning, from hating you, from slandering you. Sad to say, this is Life. What I've learnt today is that you can't stop people from placing labels on you, whether negative or positive. These labels, however, don't define who you are as a person. They define the mentality of the ones who place it on you. Their maturity and their moral depth as a person.

I can't say that I'm a saint & I haven't erred. But at least morally, I know I never did anything wrong. Yes, I could have handled many things and situations in a different way but despite my flaws and regrets, my conscience is crystal clear. And for this year's Thanksgiving and Christmas, I felt truly blessed. Because when I thought everything was taken away from me, God gave me everything. He gave me the best. The best people I could ever meet in my life. People who were unchanging and unwavering in their faith. People who were forgiving and understanding. People who were supportive and encouraging. People who showed and gave me nothing, but love and more love. This Thanksgiving, I dedicate it to my cell group E494, my family, my good and best friends & acquaintances I've just met.

You guys made every single second of 2011 a blessed one for me. I hope your Thanksgiving has been as equally amazing as mine. Enjoy the last of 2011 whether for good or for bad, 2012 is just round the corner. New year, new start. Tonight I shall pray very hard. For myself, for the people I love and for the haters.

& it shall be, as you will it.

high on air

2011-12-29T00:44:00.004+08:00

LIFE is a really BIG HUMONGOUS irony.

My ex ex boyfriend helping my ex boyfriend. like huhhhhh????????

Was headed to Mink and Rebel, but BOTH plans were quickly aborted LOL.

News travel fast uh so I decided to be a mature adult, head home and sleep and prepare for my hot date tomorrow hahahaha. yes yes i know, like a loser. only i made it sound less loserish. or more. Ah, i couldn't care less.

sui bian.

but thank you David, you've been an insanely awesomely ultra cool ex boyfriend/ current good friend(: you da bomb also ok!

p.s. okok change of plans. headed to Nana for their awesome wingzzzzzzz with E! hahahaha we both cannot maintain. Need to rescue him.

Excavate

2011-12-28T18:03:00.001+08:00

Don't build me up just to tear me down. Because all that's left now of my sanity are pills. Keeping me alive day by day.

drifting

2011-12-28T02:29:00.004+08:00

Today I pondered & I wondered. & I realized. It took so long for me to see it all; all that was in plain sight. Selfish I've been, haven't I? I neglected certain aspects while I over emphasized on others. It's not the matter of taking one for granted because we all express love differently. No, it's just that I over looked what you really needed. Wanted. Required. Now that you're gone, I guess it's time for me to leave too. What used to be our comfort zone is now empty. Soulless. Guess I'm the only one lingering there, hanging on aimlessly, shamelessly.

Sometimes I space out, & I dream about those moments we shared. Your smile, your touch, your love. & the vividness of these memories scare me. Sometimes I seek solace in my dreams where you still exist somehow. Reality crashes back. Everything goes back to naught. 2 short months, but it was perfect. The best 2 months I ever shared with any individual.

I see you having fun, moving on. That's great. It really is. Stay this way always. We only live once, don't regret a moment of it. Live it the way you want to. That's all I ask of you.

This is my last and final post for you. Be happy always.

Happy Birthday in advance, enjoy yourself and do take loads of care.

Goodnight love x

Analog

2011-12-27T21:20:00.001+08:00

HE ASK ME TO SHUT UP

2011-12-27T19:03:00.003+08:00

他是猪。我是鬼.

随便啦 -___-

my long lost neighbour for 13/ THIRTEEN years!!!!!

& i only knew of his existence this year #likeaboss

HAHAHAHA EPIC FACE WE TROLL Y'ALL

I feel so old now ):

p.s. on a side note.. im finishing my SIP draft! sending it in tonight to PC ~~ #LIKEABIGFATBOSS

Ambiguity

2011-12-27T05:35:00.001+08:00

i'm still puzzled

take me home

2011-12-27T04:33:00.002+08:00

Thank you Jon for accompanying me and supervising me for the entire day!!

Mad love for you. 8 years of friendship and counting yo. Thank you so much for always being there also kay. YOU DA BOMB !

I managed to actively embark on my Major Project at long last under Jon's "strict" supervision!!

totally wasted his time today but these are what bffs are for hahaha sorry bro :/

He decided to bring me to ECP to relax and just forget all my troubles at 12am haha.

really brother ttm ~

He forced me to eat because I haven't been eating for the past few days.

totally felt like puking after forcing the entire Macs meal down my throat T_T

& YES! NO MORE FIRST WORLD PAINS BECAUSE CURRY SAUCE IS BACK IN MACDONALDS PEOPLE. TIME TO REJOICE!!

& lastly, Jon claims he's good at photography because he likes this shot. hahaha okok whatever makes you happy ok!! BELLI GOOD I LIOKE ALSO (Y)

Aite, it says 4.46am on my computer but I'm still determined to complete at least my SIP report and send in my draft by tomorrow afternoon!! Wish me tons of luck that I'm not too late on all my deadlines ):

too many things been happening recently, i've been so affected that i lost focus of my priorities.

Time to get my life back on track!

byebyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee i shall embark on my report alreadyyyyyyyyyyyy FML

Leverage

2011-12-27T02:00:00.001+08:00

The pain just never goes away. So much conflict. So much to battle out. So much to lose. Nothing to gain. Nothing at all.

Briefly

2011-12-27T01:17:00.001+08:00

I wish.

worth

2011-12-26T15:51:00.004+08:00

" Anyway i want to tell you something. Thank you for being you. Don't ever change. You're really amazing just the way you are. Somehow you can make me smile when no one else can. Even through texts you were able to make me smile. "

But I've been told I'm such a horrible person. That's why all my ex-es left eventually. You're the only person who saw the best in me when everyone else saw only the worst.

"My dear FGF, you're not a bad person. There's always good and beauty in people. It just takes the right person to see it. And thank you for making me feel appreciated. I've never felt this way for a really long time. Really. And like i said to you many times, you are worth it. Just that they didn't notice what you really are and how much you cared. You have a good heart and you are a good person. Good things happen to those who deserve it, and believe me, you deserve it. And if there's one good thing that happened to me this year, that would be you(: "

You are my blessing. You're my best Christmas present ever, & the best FBF ever.

I'm so blessed this season. If this was the season of giving, I've received so much more than I've been giving, & I would like to thank you Father. Thank You for showing me so much of Your love. Thank you for giving your life for our sins. Thank you.

listening to you

2011-12-26T01:09:00.003+08:00

don't cry anymore.

the last shot

2011-12-26T00:32:00.004+08:00

no. this doesn't numb the pain. not one bit. for the night you thought you forgot, but when morning comes, everything rushes back. the pain. the loss. the grief.

Feliz Navidad

2011-12-25T16:27:00.003+08:00

HELLO THERE. you have no idea how amazing this Christmas has been for me. Thanks to the many people who gave me care and support and concern and so much of love during this festive season and this one person, my FBF who gave up everything just for me, just to go out of his way to make me happy, make me smile again. & because God has given me such a precious person who has managed to show me such love in such a short time, let me extend that to a once special someone, in good time you will know. As for now, thank you FBF for showing me such unconditional love for doing so much things and for sacrificing your fun just for me. Just to make me happy.

you showed me love in such a different context, yet with the same magnitude. thank you.

life

2011-12-25T02:41:00.003+08:00

Xmas eve spent in our yearly fashion with the hobos hahahaha.

more pictures up soon !! Steamboat, japanese psychological thrillers, horror movies -__- really cannot tank already. M is staying over at my place tonight to watch fun cute movies to make ourselves feel better about the horror movie hahaha #likeaboss

& I look so shag from the night of clubbing on Friday T_T

Got pissed drunk, literally puked my guts out.

Filter killed me last night hahaha FML.

Thanks J for taking care of me !! I owe you one ok.

i'll head back and clean up my barf if you want ehehehe paisehhhhhh !

So anyway, photos photos ;D

more pictures up soon!!! gotta start chionging my FYP omg sorry group mates ):):

ANYWAY, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE & HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS !!

Eve

2011-12-24T19:56:00.001+08:00

"you're worth it" & "And rememeber i want you to be happy! You're beautiful when you smile:) "

These words.. You made my Christmas eve a lot more brighter this year.

22.12.11

2011-12-22T05:30:00.003+08:00

❝When she says, “I love you,” it’s not because she wants you or because she can’t have you. It has nothing to do with her. She loves what you are, what you do, how you try. She has seen your kindness and your strength. She has seen the best and the worst of you. And she understands with perfect clarity exactly what you are. Yet she loves you all the same. ❞

-

cessation

2011-12-22T05:20:00.003+08:00

If only she was worth the wait. But she wasn't.
She would just lie there, watching the world pass, just as long as you're by her side, nothing else matters. She did love once more, her heart shattered a little more once again. But people change. People say stuff they don't mean like promising forever but forgetting to tell them that forever had an expiry especially during weathered times.

Life simply goes on.

paucity

2011-12-22T04:58:00.004+08:00

prelude

2011-12-21T22:37:00.005+08:00

I don't know what's so funny about me being sad about a breakup. About leaving someone I truly loved once. I've returned everything. I've apologized. Yes, you all can say another sob story by the gold digger. Easy to say, difficult to feel isn't it?

I never cheated on him. I didn't gold dig. I didn't lie about anything.
I just loved. But it wasn't enough. I just want you to know, I tried. You may not have seen it, but I tried. Those nights I spent with you till the wee hours even though I had barely enough time to sleep for internship the next day, I tried. I tried my best to spend all my available time with you, make things for you to surprise you. Those times when you told me you needed me to be more loving and expressive, I tried my best. Yes, you did a lot, you were the best. Your friends who support you will definitely mock at this, laugh at this, devalue this. You made so much sacrifices for me, but so did I. Maybe not obviously, but I did. I tried.

That last look I glanced upon your eyes,I knew, you didn't love me anymore. Call me melodramatic if you must, laugh at me if you must. But this pain, is beyond what I can articulate or pen down in words. This very pain that everyone is mocking me for, is so real, so tangible, so heart breaking, so heart wrenching.

If you've lost someone you've loved so much before, maybe you'll empathize. Just maybe. Otherwise, just mock away it's nothing new, haven't I been just a source of pathetic emotional mess of entertainment, scorn and accusations?

This was never anyone's fault. Just simply, wrong timing. We weren't meant to be.

oooo

2011-12-21T02:14:00.005+08:00

mmm so if im a gold digger who returned 80% of the things.. (which FYI doesnt even belong to you) and the owner doesn't want to claim it back from me.. confounding, BUT

P.S. feel free to print screen. high tech man ~

All said & done

2011-12-20T15:57:00.001+08:00

Thank you. We tried.

The notebook @ 3.37am

2011-12-20T03:38:00.001+08:00

Love sleepovers!!!
I'm watching the notebook while my dearest Tricia H is reading her expensive magazines and stealing glances at my movie & whatsapping her crush heehee <3

I could always cry to this movie. Too bittersweet, too unrealistic. No guy in this time and age will love you to the very end.

J fell asleep on me. Poor boy so exhausted! hahahaha

Wanderlust

2011-12-19T21:33:00.001+08:00

Someday this will all make sense.

pilage

2011-12-19T01:22:00.000+08:00

Judgement. one of man's biggest fallacy.

terminus

2011-12-19T00:55:00.004+08:00

be free

walk on

2011-12-18T23:57:00.002+08:00

sleepover with sx and mel!

Candle light service

2011-12-17T21:44:00.000+08:00

Today's service was awesome!! If I can wake up for tomorrow's service I'll go for tomorrow's as well! The lighted candles are too gorgeous!

Byeee

2011-12-17T10:06:00.001+08:00

Actually, nah. All the pain I went through before I found out so much stuff again. Should have believed it before hand but.. I loved you so much. I didn't walk away from you despite your flaws, but you left me for mine. Don't say I didn't fight for you and don't say I didn't love you enough because love is a feeling and everyone expresses theirs differently. I'll still take the happy memories with me. But regardless, here's me letting go. & i'll stop calling you dont worry. Wish you all the best (:

2011-12-16T14:48:00.001+08:00

I know how she felt. To just pop pills and just sleep. Because when you're asleep, nothing can hurt you, in your dreams no one can hurt you. In your dreams, good things happen. But every living breathing conscious second is a torture. Every breath you take, all you can think of is death. when you gave your life to someone who promised you to be there no matter what, but walked out on you. That very pain that penetrates and infiltrates every single cell of your body, you're crying, dying inside but no one knows. To the point that you're not seeking attention, but seeking death.

Just a soulless person living to die.

Turmoil

2011-12-15T18:16:00.001+08:00

你已经远远离开
我也会慢慢走开
为什么分开我也都迁就着你
我真的没有天份
安静的没这么快
我会学着放弃你
是应为我太爱你

Not one moment I loved you for your money. Even if you had nothing, I would have loved you just as much. Even if everyone calls me a slut & gold digger, I swear on my life that i had loved you all the same. Unconditionally.You told me once you would never let go but you're not here anymore. I'll miss your hugs, I'll miss your kisses, I'll miss snuggling up with you in the sheets, I'll miss watching all genres of movies with you, I'll miss making likeaboss & Y U NO jokes, I'll miss singing duets with you, I'll miss your presence, I'll miss your smiles, & most importantly, I miss you. I miss you & I love you so much I wouldnt just take a bullet for you, I would die for you. I know I didn't show enough love & I regret that because I love you so much that deep inside, when you left, you took everything. You took every piece of you. I have nothing left. I can't even say my heart broke because there's none left. It's already day 2, I still haven't eaten anything. I can't eat, my mouth won't open, my throat won't swallow. All I can think of is you. But you don't anymore. If my suffering is your pleasure, I'll suffer gladly. How much I love you, I love you more than life itself. Sorry I didn't tell you that earlier. Always remember my smile as I will always remember yours. I don't know how to go on from here anymore. I just pray God will take me back because this is my limit. This is all I have left. Nothing. Nothing at all.

Truly, I'll love you forever & always, even if I'm not there.

2011-12-15T04:09:00.001+08:00

Forever & Always. The biggest lie anyone could ever tell me. Now I'm at the lowest, where are you?

Words aimed to kill, words aimed to lie, defame, deceive and destroy. The truth will eventually come to light, so lie away because when judgement day comes, my conscience is clear.

2011-12-14T16:32:00.001+08:00

The all too familiar pain. To think I told you I can't go through it all again..

I gave you what was left. But you just stepped over the rest

the surprise

2011-12-06T13:33:00.003+08:00

As I was saying, D planned some sort of surprise for me that day! So I put in more effort to dress up and act gu niang y'know y'know :>

I cabbed all the way down to Sentosa Beach Station and guess what? IT STARTED TO POUR.

-____- so needless to say, there goes my surprise hahaha. The guys (Edmund & D) were pretty disappointed, but being supportive girlfriends, me and Edmund's girlfriend decided to brave the rain and check out whatever's left of their 'surprise' #EPICfail

There you have it! See the blue light on the small beach across where we were standing? Yup, it was supposed to form words and pictures but due to extravenous variables, it was pretty screwed. Nonetheless, a commendable effort by the guys who put in so much effort to do up something like this!

So we all parted ways after and D and I ( who were soggy from the rain) went off to Sentosa Resorts & Spa Hotel for our dinner reservation at this place called The Cliff. Apparently it's quite a popular place for ang mohs and all to dine!

Ambience wise, i'll give it prolly a 8/10, but service was okay, but really really slow that day. Would give it a 6/10 only. Wouldn't really want to go back there to dine again. The reception desk was empty till we walked in ourselves lol. Not too much of an impression right?

After quite some time later, they finally shifted us to the window table. Much much better.

More quieter ( away from noisy drinking angmohs) and much more privacy. Practically all the window tables were taken by couples!

Appetisers came first. Olive oil and curry powder on the left to be eaten with the bread and some weird greenish thing on the right O_O (ps. i ate it anyway. Tasted fairly weird.)

OYSTERSSSSSSSSSS <3<3<3

BIG BIG LOVE ! Super fresh, fat and yummyyyyyy. Highly recommended!!

Mushroom soup not bad. love the fluffy white thingy whatever it is.

Main Course! Wagyu Beef . We were so hungry, that I forgot to take pictures and by the time i realized, this was all that was left on the dish ):

Playing with the condiments! heehee

& then.......... D's present to me! Crazy one always spend so much money on me T_T

Decided to prolong my own anticipation and turned to finish my desert first !

Right: Lychee Sorbet Left: Vanilla Ice Cream

& both of them came with crackling candy! I LIOKE~

& then......for the opening of my present. of course I knew it was going to be some jewellery (Sookee DUH), but I didnt know what type it was going to be. then i opened it and ..

OMG. k lah, he's not proposing haha. it's just our couple ring! But still, my first time receiving such an expensive couple ring. Dont know how to respond. Thanks bby :/

HAHAHA. my face.. cannot maintain.

& then it was closing time.. so bye-bye Cliff!

Gorgeous Christmas decorations being put up. I lioke also! I have this thing for sparkly lights. Shall dress my room in sparkly lights for the festive season to come!

Sadly, the place was too ulu and we couldn't get a cab even till 11 plus so D's driver had to come pick us both stranded kids up. Poor boy was so exhausted he knocked out upon minutes of lying down.

Sun roof!! #likeaboss

much appreciated for the efforts you put in dear! thanks for always coming up with new stuff to surprise me<3

Ending off with a picture of.....

A Pig. HAHAHAHA.

Fresh

2011-12-03T14:26:00.001+08:00

Sooo.. Today I have to prepare to be surprised again lololol. D said I'll never guess it and I still haven't guessed it #noob

His instructions were to cab down to siloso beach and then call him. ( cause he needs to prepare in advance. WHAT IS GOING ON???) I give up hahaha. Update y'all on how the surprise went.

Ps. I just finished dressing up! Omg look super gu niang (feminine) O_O

Unimaginable joy

2011-12-02T10:54:00.002+08:00

LAST DAY OF WORK, FRIDAY & JON'S BIRTHDAY.

Lights will guide you home

2011-12-01T09:48:00.001+08:00

People change. Pictures stay. I hope someday when we look back upon the pictures we've taken, the moments captured will still bring a smile to your face. Each memory forged is purely unique to the both of us, that only us both can create, that can never be replaced. Always remember, in that photo, I loved you. In that photo we were eternal.

"& I will try.. to fix you"

Processed

2011-11-30T23:13:00.004+08:00

Testing out my new tripod that I bought from Daiso! CHEAP CHEAP $2 ONLY NO KIDDING.

i'm wearing the new Pink designer lenses from Freshkon? Think the colour's not bad. Wish they had the new series in Grey though. This Pink kinda looks like Grey under certain lighting so I guess i'll make do !

This, obviously self-taken. Gotta love the G12 for the pictures. Somehow it makes you look better than you really do in real life. seriously. Highly recommended for girls who like to shamelessly camwhore. like me.

random picture of my recent stash of lip balms! Loving the Nivea & Burt's Bees. BB actually moisturizes your lips better, but Nivea kinda smells better sooo i usually apply another layer of Nivea over my layer of BB. Double the moisture right? heehee

Hiii. me and my bestfriend fervently camwhoring away in Ion's toilet which has awesome lighting. Goodness she's so freakin' gorgeous can. Why are all my girlfriends all so good looking !! & they all have small skinny faces too. Why my face so fat one.. ):):

YES AH. tomorrow will be our 2nd last day as an intern!! ANTICIPATION MUCH?? Can't wait can't wait omg. Gonna head out together after it ends to celebrate the end of internship and Jon the Himbo's 20th Birthday! yay <3

Wanton mee, Gong Cha & Lollipops

2011-11-30T15:47:00.001+08:00

D bought this & brought them for me and bff at our office because he knew that we 2 lazy bums didn't have lunch at all & didn't want us to starve! Totally scored points with my bbgirl LOL.

A huge-ass thank you from me & Rachel here at the office! <333333

12.30pm

2011-11-30T14:19:00.001+08:00

Didn't have lunch today. Instead me & bff went gallivanting & shopping hahaha. Cheap thrills.

My spoils for today: a $1 charity bracelet & 2 pairs of shoes for $25! Speaking of which, I'm so buying this certain pair of Dr Martens I've been eyeing for the longest time hehe.

Travel back

2011-11-30T10:02:00.001+08:00

Yes. This greeted me in my hallway as soon as I got home from work. It's humongous and it towers over my Christmas tree -___-

VERY.VERY OTT, but also very sweet at the same time. Awwww. Then the 2nd heart attack came when I pranced down the stairs to my living room to take pictures of the balloons and saw D lounging comfortably on my couch beaming at me. Goodness.

Ps. I'm too lazy to reply formspring. Some of the questions ah.. Really must maintain k people.

brown hair?

2011-11-30T00:09:00.003+08:00

Anyway, I dyed my hair! Though I don't know if for better or for worst? :/

kinda skeptical about dyeing it a lighter shade of brown. I'm kinda terrified I would turn out looking like an ah lian ):

really random

2011-11-29T23:23:00.004+08:00

D did something crazy today LOL. as usual. will blog about it tomorrow cos the pictures are in my handphone. gave me the shock of my life when i got home. TOTALLY UNEXPECTED omg.

anyway, pictures on another random occasion whereby he took the initiative to surprise me (yes again) after he did something relatively "wrong" lololololol.

Really appreciate the effort he always put in to make me happy (:

Starbucks, Royce and the froggy ! heehee.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHY BUT I THINK FROGS ARE ADORABLE O_O

yeah, so instant meltdown as soon as i set eyes on the frog~

yeahhhh, taken some time back when i just cut bangs and my shag face after partying from the night before. Just check out those eyebags from the lack of sleep (because of work T_T). Think I could literally put coins in them .

LV shades yo! uhh but not mine ):):

hahaha vain me with make up because we were heading out to town or something and i didnt want to go out looking like shit LOL. My complexion is insanely bad now. Tiny breakouts all over my face as if someone just dropped a pimple bomb on it. My face has never been in such a terrible condition until I started work. Bummer. Thank God it's ending in 2 days' time!

Thank you D for coming into my sad screwed up life & trying your best to make everything shine for me again. Everyone knows I hate cheesy words and actions, but somehow it's different with you heh.

Self-medication

2011-11-29T14:50:00.001+08:00

Raining again. I feel like hiding beneath my sheets and cuddling with my pillows. Such a cosy weather to be wrapped up in my blankets, reading a book & sipping hot tea or something.

Prolly gonna rush home to rest today. Ima super exhausted. I stoned through the first half of the day at work. How meaningless -___-

out of sight, out of mind.

Wake up call

2011-11-29T12:11:00.001+08:00

I'm sorry I let your past dictate how our future should be like. I seek your understanding that I'm still afraid. That the same thing from my previous relationship will reenact & shatter what's left of my faith. I feel like I haven't been fair in this relationship. I sat on tether hooks, always ready to bolt at the slightest problem. My defense mechanisms kick in & I run. I run away from anything that could possibly hurt me because I cannot and I must not go through the same thing again.

When I see you cry for me, begging me for another chance, my heart really broke. I hated myself that I had to put you through that. Because I'm no longer what I used to be. Much more simpler, much less angry. More trusting than I am now.

I won't be an option nor a choice. I hate the fact that I was one. I can't stop ruminating about that. I hate that feeling. I can't settle for second place & I never will. This is me now, moulded & hardened by life.

Tell me how to go on from here because i can't do this anymore. I desperately want to give you, give us another chance but I'm not sure if you're worth the risk anymore.

Closure

2011-11-29T10:59:00.001+08:00

Damn it's freezing in the office. Just yesterday it was steaming o_o whaddup w the aircon yo. And I'm oh so sleepy now.. 3 more days . That's what's keeping my sanity together lol.

3.MORE.DAYS
Omg can't waittttttt!
NTS: Need to catch up on sleep.

Finale

2011-11-29T00:13:00.001+08:00

In the end, she was reduced to nothing, but an option.

You played me. You played it well.

Decrepit

2011-11-28T19:16:00.001+08:00

Some pain you will never know, never understand.
Not everything that I've done can be seen blatantly. Not everything that I do has to be broadcasted into words or actions. It's a feeling. Non tangible. It's called love. Because I love you.

But you don't get it. You don't get the pain that haunts me, that devours my conscious mind, tormenting me daily. You just don't. You don't get that I need time and space to heal. Take it for example, if you keep exerting a wound, will it ever get better? Well that's me. I'm trying so much, but it's not enough. & I have to keep trying harder and harder and then I get put down for it. Like I'm not doing it well enough.

I can't. I just can't anymore. Why can't you just hear me crying inside that I can't give you anymore than I can now. There's so many things that I forced myself to accept, to give you the freedom and space you deserve. You don't know how hard it is for me to force myself to smile and go it's okay when it's not to me at all.

How much more do I have to scar and wound before it truly doesn't hurt, doesn't matter anymore?

Legalized

2011-11-28T14:16:00.001+08:00

Serene's after party at Rebel! Happy 18th Birthday sweetie <3 more pictures up soon ~

Formspring me!

2011-11-28T09:55:00.001+08:00

Again, I'm jumping on the bandwagon a little late. Don't know how this thing works, but uh ask me questions? Lololol.

Http://formspring.me/michellehoho

passing

2011-11-28T00:27:00.002+08:00

FINALLY my internship is ending in 4 days' time!! at long last.

As soon as my internship ends, i'll be uploading all the photos that i owe y'all kay!

Sooooo sorry, now im still stuck in that shithole so can't do much stuff nowadays ):

kk gotta crash nao. goodnight people! <3<3

wish me luck cleaning up some office drama tomorrow.. hai .

Too late for regrets

2011-11-25T15:24:00.001+08:00

Answer

2011-11-23T16:53:00.001+08:00

& thank you Torance for your encouragement (:

Keep faith

2011-11-23T16:43:00.001+08:00

The past feels like nothing but a distant dream now. We move on but we do not forget. Everything's still intact- the pain, the loss, the joy, the love, yet it feels as if those memories are shrouded by something else, or rather someone else who gave you the courage and strength to pull yourself from drowning in your past.

If this is a trial, I'll pull through with grace and faith. Nothing happens by chance. If there's a lesson to be learnt from this experience, i will learn it well. Never forget, God is faithful, and He is always on time.

Grow up

2011-11-23T14:46:00.001+08:00

Shame on you all

Titter

2011-11-23T09:49:00.001+08:00

I was yesterday's lunch topic. Great.
Organizational culture : gossip 24/7

Well.. There's only so much I can say about them. 'Great people talk about great things, small people talk about others.'

How pathetic

Ohwells

2011-11-23T09:21:00.001+08:00

Life is as such.

2011-11-22T16:42:00.001+08:00

Hair pls grow ):

Huh

2011-11-22T11:25:00.001+08:00

How could you do this to me??? I spent months tolerating shit from my internship and you had to come and screw it up for me. All my fucking efforts gone down the fucking drain.

Fuck my life. Fuck it. Fuck internship. Fuck my studies ok. Just fuck it all up.

Amnesty

2011-11-22T09:22:00.001+08:00

I'm already one foot out the door.

blurry

2011-11-21T23:56:00.002+08:00

Quibbling evasion

2011-11-21T16:53:00.001+08:00

Life is too much of a rush don't you think?

Weird like that

2011-11-21T16:49:00.001+08:00

I think I'm pretty weird, socially awkward, scrawny, average looking, geeky, stubborn, over enthusiastic, impulsive & weird. Yes I reiterate. I think I'm really really weird.

Sometimes I wonder, what do people like about me?

I'm not attention seeking. I'm just voicing out what seems to be terribly lacking of an epiphany -__-

I'm weird & I like it.

What a weird post huh.

One love

2011-11-21T13:29:00.001+08:00

Best friends: the other soul mate who gives the best hugs, the best companionship, the best shoulder; the person you can count on to always be there, forever and always.

Mustache anyone?

2011-11-21T10:05:00.001+08:00

Take over

2011-11-21T10:04:00.001+08:00

Narcissistic much?

SAVE ENERGY

2011-11-19T10:36:00.001+08:00

Hahahahahahhaaha

Vibrance

2011-11-19T10:29:00.001+08:00

Work on a Saturday morning. What else to do but look at pretty girls <3

Outing with Rachel bff! Then clubbing with her cousins at night. Feels like we're family already heehee

Christ

2011-11-18T22:48:00.001+08:00

To me, God will always come first in my life because without Him, we would have been nothing.

Gotta hit the sack! Long long day tomorrow with bbg Rachel! <33

Randommm

2011-11-17T15:09:00.001+08:00

Internship. Pretty much it.

Yum

2011-11-17T14:36:00.001+08:00

So sometimes I get really bored & hungry at work...

So...

2011-11-17T14:29:00.001+08:00

How happy are you?

Rachel bbg's 19th

2011-11-17T00:10:00.002+08:00

and yes, without fail, another birthday surprise for my bbg again this year <333

All the on going preparation ~

Blindfolded!!

Then me chauffeuring the birthday girl around pretending to be a taxi uncle :C

& FINALLY, when 12midnight came........

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY MY BEAUTIFUL BFF!!

(check out jo's expression. priceless.)

D's & my present to bbg ~

the bimbo hello kitty necklace~~ hahaha see the look of joy on her face !

group photos!

then individual photos ~

the bffs yo!

Hope you enjoyed yourself even though you were exhausted ! and i hope you like the bimbo present from me & D!

ORLY

2011-11-16T11:47:00.001+08:00

MY MAGICAL POCKETS!!

Picture perfect memories

2011-11-16T09:50:00.001+08:00

Less words. More pictures.

Miles that separate

2011-11-16T09:39:00.001+08:00

Thrilled that I'm finally going to meet my darling Serene tomorrow <3333 missed her so so muchhhhhhhhh! Don't go back to Perth T_T

Mmmm

2011-11-15T13:49:00.001+08:00

“Girls are like apples. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don’t want to reach for the good ones because they’re afraid of falling & getting hurt. So, they just get the bad apple on the ground that isn’t as good, but easy. The apples at the top think there is something wrong with them, but in reality they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy who’s brave enough to climb to the top ♥”

Genuity

2011-11-14T11:45:00.001+08:00

The smallest things you do occupy the biggest space in my heart.

Don't wait, don't stop, just keep running forward. Because with you, I'm not afraid to fall.

It's never about catching me when I fall, rather its because I know you'll be there with me through it all. My appreciation for everything that you've done is seldom expressed as words articulated or penned diminishes the magnitude, the sincerity & the rawness of the emotion.

What my heart speaks, let yours read. No one said love was tangible yet we all believe in it. Feel it. Indulge in it. Live for it. Life's little ~~ironies~~ miracles indeed.

Summer haze

2011-11-14T10:02:00.001+08:00

"Swift as a shadow, short as any dream;
Brief as the lightning in the collied night."

Ooh my favorite !

2011-11-12T19:32:00.001+08:00

Internship 2011

2011-11-12T00:56:00.002+08:00

Just a tiny update on our regular internship lives. Pretty sad as you can see & we all look thoroughly tired and worn out ): Lack of sleep, all of us falling ill constantly, etc etc. what a life huh. 3 more weeks to go before internship ends! Do pray for us hahaha we desperately need it.

Rachel bbg who sits right beside me!

Jon the HimBo. I can actually vomit blood talking to him cause he's so bimbotic lololol.

Our best friend during work! The iPod and iPhone keeps us awake and entertained at all times while doing mundane work

D surprising me at work with food, starbucks and roses! silly boy always doing stuff like these to make me happy~ :p

After work, we sometimes bring a change of clothes to go on our respective dates after work looking like zombies cos we're just so exhausted ;__;

Thank God for putting the most amazing people in my life during my internship to make it so much bearable & so much more enjoyable ! love you guys (:

Bass down low

2011-11-11T16:24:00.001+08:00

So last Friday I did a little partying with another one of my gorgeous cell group member Shui Xian <333

We headed down to zouk after cell group to celebrate her friend's Geraldine's birthday! Coincidentally bumped into Alicia right outside the newly revamped velvet.

So the journey for the night was as follows:
zouk > zouk bar > velvet > rebel > sending drunkards home LOL > go home #WHATALIFE

Missed talking to Alicia! Shall club with her again soon. Oh & I stayed at Velvet till Desiree came before I left. Haven't seen them both in ages!

During my wait there.. Alicia introduced me to D's dad's friends who were at the table next to us & we mingled with them for a bit! #thatawkwardmoment muchhhhh

Shall see my pretty girls Shui Xian, Alicia & Desiree at Zoukout soon <33 till then, prolly not much partying for meeeeee..